Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity

Refusing to pander to audiences expecting Dr. Phil-type quick fixes, Glass (who has appeared on Oprah herself) chooses "a new, fact-based, scientifically and therapeutically responsible approach" to a subject she contends is fraught with public and professional misconceptions. Drawing on research studies (her own and others') and clinical cases from her 25 years as a psychotherapist, she explores "the new crisis of infidelity" resulting from platonic relationships that become progressively intense. Personal and professional friendships between men and women have become so prevalent and accepted that, according to Glass, even "good" people in "good" marriages can be swept away in a riptide of emotional intimacy more potent than sheer sexual attraction. Glass scrutinizes affairs and offers well-defined guidelines, including tips for determining how vulnerable individuals and relationships are to temptation, and prescriptions for keeping relationships "safe," repairing betrayal-induced damages and recovering from the trauma. Glass's credentials and commitment lend this book credence as a valuable resource; Staeheli's easy, personable style and the well-organized format make it user-friendly, too.
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MicheleWeiner-Davis Author of The Divorce Remedy and The Sex-Starved Marriage Every once in a while a book comes along that is so illuminating, instructive, down-to-earth, and inspiring that it truly transforms lives. Since no marriage -- including yours -- is immune to infidelity, NOT "Just Friends" is a godsend for couples.

John M. Gottman, Ph.D. Author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and The Relationship Cure In this long-awaited, breakthrough book, Dr. Glass has provided practical advice with a scientific basis and profoundly sensitive clinical experience about the highly destructive problem of infidelity. She alerts us to the new crisis of infidelity and shows us how to safeguard our most precious relationships from this danger.

Pat Love, Ed.D. Author of The Truth about Love and Hot Monogamy I love this book and loaned it to a friend whose husband was "not just friends" with a coworker. They believe it prevented a serious breach from forming in their marriage. A must-read for anyone who ever hopes to be happy in a long-term relationship.

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., Author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for CouplesNOT "Just Friends" puts a new face on infidelity using clinical experience and current research. I recommend it for anyone considering an affair, in an affair, or recovering from an affair.

Frank Pittman, M.D. Author of Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy I treasure Dr. Shirley Glass, and I treasure this book. No one understands affairs better than she does. She offers her traumatized readers compassion, wisdom, and unshakeable common sense.

Peggy Vaughan Host of DearPeggy.com and author of The Monogamy Myth This is the most comprehensive book on affairs that I have ever read and the only one that completely reflects the reality of affairs. No matter how many other books you have read on this subject, read this one. It is absolutely wonderful!

Ira Glass Host of National Public Radio's This American Life It's a relief my mom wrote a great book so I can be totally honest on the jacket cover. NOT "Just Friends" offers one surprising, radical insight after another, including: Infidelity doesn't start the first time your partner sleeps with someone else; it begins when your partner becomes closer to someone else than to you.